2020 was a mess. Based on the political atmosphere of the United States, 2021 doesn’t look like it’s going to be much better. However, I want to remind everyone that in order to grow, we need to face some growing pains.
COVID-19 hit us hard worldwide. It’s still hitting us—I’m a critical care nurse, so I’ve seen firsthand what this virus does. I have watched multiple generations of families die gruesome, painful deaths at the hands of this virus. My husband and I made the personal decisions to get vaccinated, because of our work (he’s a first-responder on the local ambulance). Does this mean I’m going to go on a bloggy rampage that attempts to force you to get vaccinated? No. It’s a personal decision, even if I think you should get it.
My mantra these last few months has been “Should the light always shine, we would never grow wise in the shadow of despair.” As our future gets murkier, this is something we should all strive to remember. What I want to tell everyone is this: I get it. The frustration. The lines between fact and fiction are blurring so much that it’s hard to tell which from what. Pots are calling kettles black, and vice versa. What we really need to remember is that this is not a time for anger or hatred. This should be a time for love and support. We all need it right now.
My resolution for the beginning of 2021 is “self care”. I go to therapy for a very traumatic childhood, I work at 2 hospitals in the ICU in the middle of a massive pandemic, and I am moving 2 states away (my husband and I just bought our first house). My husband just lost his sister a mere three weeks before Thanksgiving. My “stress inventory” score is 457! (Click here for reference to that). Self-care is important. I don’t think I could adequately care for critically ill adults if I didn’t also care for myself.
With all that being said, I want to announce that I am nearly halfway finished with the final revision of a book I’ve been writing for 14 years! I am making myself accountable: November 2022, I will be self-publishing my debut novel “The Grim”. This is where my self-care tangent comes into play. This novel is another form of therapy for me. The things that happen to my main character also happened to me. It is a high-fantasy with dark-gritty undertones that challenge the state of women’s rights, men’s mental health, child trafficking, and LGBTQ+ stereotypes. While it may seem like I’m “shoving an agenda down the throats” of everyone, I’m not. It’s simply me. I have a mental illness (C-PTSD), I am on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, I am a victim of child abuse/trafficking, I am a cisgender woman who deals with women’s rights, and my father was a victim of the old idea that men cannot be allowed to show emotion.
I know I have made some comments that point toward this project, but take this as my official announcement. In the meantime, I will continue to read and triage novels (I have enough queued up for the middle of February). I may also deviate from my usual blog posts to give you little updates, snippets of “The Grim”, etc. I hope to snag a cover-artist by the end of 2021.
Thanks for reading my rant. My imposter-syndrome continues to thank you for your support. As always,
Stay safe. Stay sane. Keep healthy. Keep smiling. Much love!