Across the Room: Unfortunately, I just couldn't finish it. There is just so much that needs to be looked over by editors and proofreaders. However, it is a fun concept, and I hope Amani Dasia takes to heart some of the critique here.
Temperature: a bit feverish: it's whimsical, and sometimes nonsensical. There are some very dark moments, but it reads like a young adult fantasy most of the time...with a lot of sex.
Heart Rate: a bit Brady and irregular. I had a rough time getting through it. There were moments that were so fast, I had to re-read the passage just to understand what was going on. There were other times that dragged so much, that I was able to skip several pages at a time and still understand exactly what was going on.
Blood Pressure: hypertensive crisis and stroke. I couldn't follow the plot very well, at all. There were too many subplots, betrayals, etc.
Respirations: Brady and shallow. (WARNING: Spoilers Ahead!) The narrator is...hmm...well...she's ok. She's very well-rounded, but I stopped rooting for her as soon as the Halloween Party scene. I think the only character I rooted for was Kalila (she was the only one who didn't cheat on her S.O!)...and the sorceress that curses the MC. I whole-heartedly believe she deserves to be cursed.
Oxygenation: slightly hypoxic. There was a lot of telling, rather than showing, with the character emotions. The settings, however, were beautifully described. From the eye colors, to the descriptions of the rooms. The imagery of the setting is where Amani Dasia's writing skills really shine.
Work of Breathing: increased work of breathing. It took a lot for me to stay immersed in the story.
Family: Fantasy. New Adult?
Medical: Well. There aren't a lot of comorbidities, but the few that are present really contribute to the prognosis. For one, the sheer number of adverbs sucks me right out of the story. Second: the amount of telling, rather than showing. There was just. So. Much. Telling. Things like "Nolan was irritated", instead of showing his body language. Finally, the number of abnormal dialogue tags. (I'll admit, I'm a bit guilty on this one, but I'm getting better with my own manuscript's rewrites). I think the entire premise of the story is intriguing. I love the paranormal genre. However, I think this manuscript would have gone much further if it was given the opportunity to go through extensive edits with a pro. Finally, the narration swaps. The majority of the book is in 1st person from Sabina's point of view. Unfortunately, there is a crucial scene about halfway through the book that swaps to third person for that single scene. It's jarring, and it ultimately made me put the book down.
Psychiatric: every single relationship in this story is dysfunctional. Friends are betraying friends by sleeping with each other's S.O.'s, everyone's boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating. I don't see a single relationship that I can root for, here. Like I said before, the only character I could root for was Kalila. Girl, run!
Socio-economic: This one confused me. When I first bought the paperback, it was labelled as Young Adult. After reading through some of the graphic sex and violince...it's definitely not YA. Now, it's marketed as "New Adult", but the majority of the characters are still under the age of 18...And drinking, smoking, and f***ing their ways into an early grave.
Head to Toe Assessment:
Head and face: I loved the cover. I originally found this story on Wattpad, and I think I enjoyed the first cover more than the current one. However, this current cover is still beautiful. The blurb is very intriguing, as well. It's the type of blurb that shouts "This is Young Adult Fantasy!", but then the content...
Neck: There are multiple timelines in this story. The italicised font are flashbacks, and the regular font is present-day. This helps the flashbacks separate from the main storyline—a big strength in Amani Dasia's storytelling. The prologue starts with a flashback, and it's really intriguing. It definitely got me to turn the page.
Chest: again, this is pretty intriguing. Especially with Sabina's fall from the lighthouse. Unfortunately, this is when it starts to go downhill.
Abdomen and Flanks: I couldn't get through the entire middle section of the story. It got too muddied, confusing, and just sagged so much. I felt like the end of act 1 should have been the end of the book, to be continued to the next. I think what got me the most was the shift in narration style for a single scene in the middle of the book. It's all narrated 1st person from Sabina's POV, until one scene. Just one single scene of third person narrative. I think this could have been handled differently. This is also when I finally put the book down.
Perineum: I didn't read far enough to get here.
Extremities: I didn't read far enough to get here.
Backside: I didn't read far enough to get here.
Prognosis: I hate doing this. I hate it so so so much. Unfortunately, I have to give it a "poor" prognosis based on my assessment. (1.5, rounded up to 2 on Goodreads). Ultimately, there were too many things wrong with the grammar and the character relationships that I just couldn't finish the whole thing. On the flip side, I don't want to give it a measly "terminal" or "1 star", because this author has a lot of potential. Her prose when describing setting and surroundings is superb! So vivid and beautiful. Also, the main premise of the book is intriguing, and would probably be better if it wasn't for the weird love-triangle between three cheaters.
Once again, click here for the link to my triage formula, in case you need to reference it.
Stay safe. Stay sane. Keep healthy. Keep smiling. Much love!